1. In skiing, as in life, it’s always best to take the high traverse.
2. Ski better than anyone who enjoys it more, but enjoy it more than anyone who skis better.
3. You can have as many friends as you want on a powder day, if you always drop first.
4. DIN settings reflect your commitment to the sport, and reconstructive knee surgery.
5. It’s always better to find deeper snow than buy skinnier skis.
6. When powder skiing (or using inappropriate metaphors) don’t leave fish to find fish.
7. It is a Fat Cantabrian duty to poach other people’s photo shoots. Don’t explain, don’t apologize; they should have hired a helicopter if it’s that important.
8. If you’re queueing up on a powder day then you’re at the wrong resort.
9. Don’t be afraid to pluck the low hanging fruit; be it in a dive bar, a couloir or the boudoir.
10. Repeat after me: “I pretty much rip.”
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From the region grown lardy on the udder