The final frontier of foot-to-ski integration technology.
It’s a well documented fact that most people couldn’t ski prior to the invention of rocker skis by Shane McConkey in 1066. These days, of course, it is only the senile and cretinous who still ski on traditionally cambered skis. Like fat skis, twin tips and carving skis before them, rocker is the latest piece of must-have equipment that takes the mick out of gimmick. Turning up in a lift queue without rocker skis is basically equivalent to attending a dinner party without the latest generation of iPhone; social suicide on an atomic scale.
It is no surprise that such a revolutionary, necessary and desirable technology has application beyond its initial field of excellence. After years of painstaking research by Eurosport Industries at a remote castle in Rumania, rocker design has leapt the previously unassailable hardware-soft goods divide. Sock Rocker mimics the shape of rocker skis to provide a hitherto impossibly tight foot-to-ski interface. The product is already a multi Olympic and X-games gold medal winner. The Pro Team roster reads like a who’s who of the ski world, including Canterbury’s own Reginald Asquith.
How it works:
Sock Rocker is like a Wonder Bra for your feet – if your skis were shaped like a giant pair of tits. Sock Rocker exaggerates and elongates the natural camber of the foot between the heel and ball allowing for precise ski control and turn initiation. The gentle rise from the ball of the foot to the tip of the big toe eases the ski out of the turn for a crisp finish. The steep heel rise helps with landing on transitions, big air and reverse pop for urban.
The Sock Rocker profile varies dramatically according to use so Eurosport manufactures several varieties for the various ski disciplines. Sock Rocker will not only elevate your skiing to an elite level but the patented Dyna-Elastine carbon fibre composite will actually help you shed pounds by invigorating previously flaccid muscle groups. This has been a boon to pasta-loving pro skiers and has-beens alike. After only a few weeks in the Sock Rocker, Alberta Tomba once again fitted snugly into the three-legged, acid washed jeans he wore throughout his 1980s heyday.
Top freeski pro David Wise elaborates; “Sock Rocker has allowed me to take my game intergalactic. Prior to using the Sock Rocker I just couldn’t stick my triples in the pipe. From the first run in the half pipe with my rocked up socks I was boosting 2-3 foot further out and sticking absolutely fucking everything, both in the pipe and later in the bar. They work well for buttering, especially onto urban rails, toast and crumpets; where timing is so critical. As an added bonus I’ve lost my ample love handles. So my 2019 signature pant will no longer be a jodhpur.”
Sock Rocker variants: Race Stock Jib Pop All Mountain
How to rock your Sock Rocker:
Race stock Sock Rocker
Catastrophically steep heel rise, psychotic mid-sole camber and agro ball-to-toe elevation combine to create our most precise, angry and effective Sock Rocker. Strictly for Olympic-level athletes pursuing their dreams of Lycra-clad glory.
Jib Pop Sock Rocker
A gentle - yet aggressive - heel rise and precisely sloppy camber plus a limp yet shockingly rigid toe rise make this the ultimate sock for booters, pipe, urban and general jibbery pokery. Comes with a free garter belt in which to tuck your ultra-baggy pants to prevent binding catch.
All Mountain Sock Rocker
Compromise is a dirty word at Eurosport industries. However, we believe the All Mountain to be the most rounded in our Sock Rocker range. High performance combines with catwalk exuberance for a refined yet price-point sensitive, fashion-forward yet conservatively-styled wonder garment. They say you can’t be all things to all people but this product proves otherwise. A sensation at ISPO 2017 in Munich winning both tightest new product and people’s choice awards. Unfortunately the resulting stampede crushed several people to death against a bratwurst stand.
The secret is the geometry. Our research scientists created a new quadratic wave shape that dramatically enhances natural heel rise, then melds into an ebullient underfoot camber before embarking on a murderous rise to the point of the tippy toes. It looks beautiful. It is pure function.
Eurosport Sock Rocker only Euro 399 per sock. Available only a reputable ski shops.
0800 Rock My Sock
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